Neti Pot. Cleanse. Santorum.

Not the Neti Pot I was thinking, but it may work . . . 

There are people who swear by the Neti Pot.  If you have allergies or a bad cold, they insist you go and use one; They take yer watery eyes away, fer-ever, aye sweare, awn ma mom's grave n'at!

Well actually, I've never met a yinzer who used a neti pot.  I think it's more of a you know, an over-educated double PhD, no common sense, no vaccinated, home-schooled asshole's home remedy crap they believe to work, but really doesn't.  One wrong move, and water is coming out your eyeballs and vagina at the same time.  Not cool.  Especially if you don't have a vagina . . . or eyeballs.

I got that Colon Blow for you, Big Guy!

Remember Duel Action Colon Cleanse?  Neither did I.  Until I googled HIM:  Klee Irwin.  It all came rushing back to me--the uncomfortable infomercials, the giant containers of brown liquid, his awkward hair . . . almost worth thinking maybe, just maybe I should give this guy's product a try . . . 

Unlike Kevin Trudeau.  And I still stand firm that he is Santorum's Avatar!!  He just keeps coming back for more, doesn't he.  From how to improve your memory to baldness remedies to miracle cures the "government" doesn't want you to know about, he gets indicted every few years, goes to jail, comes out a new "reformed" man, and cooks up a new scheme that he sells to the public for two payments of $49.99 (plus tax, S&H).  Most of his schemes has something to do with a conspiracy by the government.  Hmm, maybe he's more than just an avatar . . . 

As I drank my colon cleanse, read my home remedies from Trudeau, and used my neti pot, I had one of those  long walk epiphanies.  Tooth brushing epiphanies.  Shower epiphanies.  Second-term George W. Bush epiphanies.

Romney will have to use the Duel Action Colon Cleanse to finally be rid of Santorum.

At least Arizona is his . . . Michigan, too close to call.